Sunday 16 October 2011

Buying in Burma

Let’s just say you want to buy something in Myanmar.  Just in case you find yourself traveling here on your next tour of the middle of nowhere, I thought that I would prepare these helpful directions:
1.       Go to Cambodia.  In Myanmar, you need to have US$ to do anything as a tourist.  Cambodia is the same way (after 30 years of civil war, the USD is much more stable than the riel).  The difference is that
Cambodia has ATMs and Myanmar does not.
2.      Pull out thousands of USD over many days.  ATMs in SE Asia usually only let you get a couple hundred out at a time to maximize the number of times they can charge the fee to use their ATMs.  You need
thousands of dollars because many of them you will not be able to use.
3.      Take your newly acquired Cambodian USD to the bank from which you got the money and go through each and every bill to trade in any that are blemished in any way.  Tears are right out, but any fold, crease,
discoloration, etc will render your money useless.  Get a few more hundred out of the ATM just in case.
4.      Go to Myanmar.  The official exchange rate set by the government is about K450 for $1.  That is a laughable rate and you would have to be a straight sucker to pay it.  Since all of the banks in Myanmar are run by the government, the government can then take that cheaply acquired USD and use it at a more realistic rate (about K800 to $1).  So, you hit the streets.
5.      You may want to practice this step by buying a lot of crack cocaine in a dark alley in a major city because that is precisely what exchanging money on the black market is like.  When walking down a street known as a good place to change money, many guys approach you and discreetly ask if you want to change money.  Then the haggling for rate starts and is contingent on the amount of money you want to change (the more money and the more $100 bills in particular you want to change, the higher the rate. So it is best to change all of your money in this one transaction).  They start at K700 and you work your way up to K800.  Once that is agreed upon, you and the dealer/exchanger go to a more secluded place.
6.      Once at your secluded place, you are handed stacks and stacks of money since there are only K1000 bills (about $1) that have to be gone through and counted individually.  Once that amount is established, out comes your money and the people who you are dealing with suddenly multiply.  Let’s say you are exchanging $200 and you give them two $100 bills, they are never new enough.  It isn’t enough that there aren’t any tears.  They should be perfect bills.  The bills get passed around and analyzed as if it is a diamond and invariably something is found to make it not good enough.  So, you give them another one and another one and another one until a suitable one is found.  Be sure to get all of your bills before giving any more for scrutiny as one of the scams is to just shuffle the bills around during scrutiny and you lose track of where they are.  I tracked down a loose $100 bill before I realized this and quickly collected all of my money.
7.      Count your kyet yet again.  Chances are that while someone was holding your giant stacks of kyet, and while the dollar bill scrutiny was happening, he was skimming off the pile.  In the course of one exchange, at this point and before I gave him my money, the dealer folded the money, put a rubber band around it and stuck it in my pocket, saying “Police! Police!”  I looked around and not seeing any police, I took it out to count it at which point he snatched it out of my hand and walked away.  I am guessing that it was short.
8.      Hide your giant stack of money and walk away.  Assume that you still got screwed somehow but at least you are being screwed by a guy on the street and not a corrupt dictatorship.  Get used to traveling with a large wad of cash.  Now you can buy something.  See?  Easy! Oh wait, no one will have change for that K1000 note.  Good luck with that.

Tuesday 11 October 2011

Time Travel

If you're also following our travels on Facebook, you may have noticed that Sally is already home in California, while Brian is still traveling.

How can we continue to entertain you with our blogs?

Easy, faithful readers. We will continue to post blogs (some from America, some from Myanmar, but all interesting) just to keep you updated. We appreciate your interest!

Jungle Biking

When heading out for a jungle mountain biking tour, there are a few things you need to consider:

1. Terrain: Biking 34 kilometers in the mountains of Cambodia might be your cup of tea. However, since you’ve landed yourself in this part of the world during the wet season, you might want to think about the condition of the trails. Go ahead and ask the tour operators. They’ll tell you the road is fine, though they’ve never actually been on the trip themselves. You can attempt to ask your guide, but he doesn’t speak English, so good luck.

2. Guide: You need one. Regardless of your skills with a compass or your ability on a bike. Not only is it required by the village-run tour operator, it’s essential as the trails will be washed out and nearly imperceptible. You will not be able to navigate through cow pastures, over sand dunes, up the river, or around the landmines without a guide.

3. Leeches: It’s no secret: Cambodian jungles mean leeches. And plenty of them. Be realistic – long pants, heavy socks, and hiking shoes do not, I repeat do not, hinder these blood-sucking beasts. Frequent stops, particularly after riding through a puddle or lake, are required to rid yourself of any leeches who have attached themselves to you for a free ride.



4. Weather: If it’s raining the morning of your trip, count yourself as lucky. This is ideal weather for mountain biking because you are going to be wet regardless – some of that moisture might as well come from the skies. Besides, if it’s not raining in Cambodia, then it’s hot. And hot is not what you’re going for on an 8-hour biking trip.

5. Footwear: Notice, please, the shoes of your guide. If you guide is wearing flip flops, you might consider this as an appropriate choice. You will likely be wearing a pair of hiking shoes, thinking they offer the best protection from the leeches. But remember that they also offer the best place for water to pool, ensuring veritable puddles in your socks.

6. Brakes: This is an easy one. Your bike won’t have them, so there’s nothing to pay attention to here.

7. Pot holes: Hiding beneath muddy puddles, these obstacles can really derail you from your bike. You will assume that you are riding along at a nice clip until your front wheel suddenly stops as it dips into a pot hole. Grip your handlebars tightly to avoid plunging over the front wheel, and brace yourself with a foot as you throw your weight to the side and fall off the bike. As soon as you have extracted yourself from the puddle, review #3.

8. Water: No, not the water on all sides of you, falling from the sky and coursing beneath your bike tire, but the water you should carry with you for drinking. Yes it’s heavy, but you will down it quickly, particularly if you had one too many beers with the locals last night, leaving yourself a bit dehydrated. If you’re lucky, your guide will offer you some of his water.



9. Clay: It might be ideal for a potter, but it’s not a biker’s best friend. Clay is extremely slippery when wet. Before attempting to ride on it, ensure that there is a nice hedge of tall grass to break your fall. Following any such falls, remember #3.

10. Walking the bike: There is no shame in walking the bike. Instances when this might be required include, but are not limited to the following: clay, riding through sand, when a fallen tree trunk blocks the path, when the water rises over your seat, when the decline is 10% over boulders. Or any time your guide walks his bike. After walking the bike, be sure to review #3.

11. Prayer: It never hurts to utter a few words of supplication for your personal safety, especially when you’ve decided to pay a bunch of money to put yourself in a risky situation as you have so clearly done. It is also a good idea to give thanks for a beautiful countryside, open people who share their home with you, and the glorious waterfall where you will stop for lunch. Oh, and thank God for your safe return.

Tuesday 4 October 2011

A Taste of Cambodia


Our first taste of Cambodian food was delicious. Here’s where we ate: Nice nice restaurant.



And here were some of our choices:
I’ll help you decipher the menu. Cow bowel and banana flower salad. Deep boiled cow bowel. Beef claming mountain. (climbing mountain, perhaps? Do you eat him mid-stride?) Metal slice beef. (as opposed to wood-slice beef, or granite-slice beef). And then there’s everyone’s favorite: dry beef. Because we all love when Mom overcooks the pot-roast.

The $1.75 pitcher of mediocre beer made up for the menu.